What is a prenuptial agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract signed before marriage outlining asset, debt, and financial responsibilities during marriage and in case of divorce.

Do I need a prenup if I don’t have a lot of money?

Yes. Prenups can clarify financial expectations and responsibilities regardless of your net worth, protecting both partners.

Will a prenup make my relationship seem untrusting?

No. A prenup is about transparency and mutual respect, not distrust. It helps prevent future financial conflicts.

Can a prenup be changed after marriage?

While prenups are signed before marriage, postnuptial agreements can be created after the wedding to update terms.

How much does it cost to get a prenup?

Costs vary but expect to pay between $1,000 to $5,000 per attorney depending on complexity.

Prenuptial Agreements: What They Are and When You Need One

If you think prenuptial agreements are only for the ultra-wealthy or Hollywood celebrities, think again. The truth is, most couples could benefit from having a clear, no-nonsense conversation about money and assets before saying "I do." The $33,900 average cost of an American wedding isn’t just a one-day expense—it’s the financial foundation you’re building your marriage on. And ignoring the legal and financial realities of your union doesn’t protect your relationship; it puts your future at risk.

This article cuts through the wedding industry’s fluff and social taboos to give you a clear-eyed guide on prenuptial agreements—what they are, why they matter, and when you absolutely need one. Spoiler: It’s not about mistrust. It’s about clarity, fairness, and protecting your financial future together.

Understanding Prenuptial Agreements

What Exactly Is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement, or prenup, is a legal contract signed by two people before marriage that outlines how assets, debts, and financial responsibilities will be handled during the marriage and in the event of divorce or death. Think of it as a financial safety net, not a relationship judgment.

Contrary to popular belief, prenups aren’t just about dividing assets if things go south. They can also protect inheritances, specify debt responsibility, clarify business ownership, or even set terms for spousal support. In 2021, approximately 5% of new marriages in the U.S. included a prenup—a number that’s steadily increasing as couples get savvier about financial planning.

Why Prenups Are So Controversial

Discussing a prenup feels awkward because it forces couples to confront the possibility of divorce before they’ve even tied the knot. Socially, it’s often seen as unromantic or pessimistic. But here’s the blunt truth: roughly 40-50% of marriages end in divorce in the U.S., and financial disagreements are a leading cause.

Ignoring the financial realities doesn’t make them disappear; it just means you’re gambling with your future. A prenup is a practical step, like buying insurance or writing a will. It’s not about lack of trust—it’s about mutual respect and responsibility.

When Do You Need a Prenuptial Agreement?

High Net-Worth Individuals and Business Owners

If you or your partner have substantial assets—think $250,000 or more in savings, investments, or property—a prenup can protect your wealth. For business owners, a prenup can prevent your personal relationship from entangling with your business interests, which could be critical for your livelihood and employees.

Significant Debt or Financial Disparities

Money isn’t just about assets—it’s also about liabilities. If one partner has student loans totaling $50,000 or more, or significant credit card debt, a prenup can specify who is responsible for what. Without clear agreements, you might inherit your partner's financial burdens unintentionally.

Second Marriages and Blended Families

In remarriages, protecting the interests of children from previous relationships is crucial. Prenups can ensure that inheritances and family assets are preserved for your children, rather than being absorbed into your new marriage’s finances. This can prevent costly and painful disputes later.

Protecting Inheritances and Family Wealth

If you expect to receive an inheritance or have family wealth passed down, a prenup can safeguard those assets. Without it, those assets may be considered marital property subject to division, which may not align with your wishes or family agreements.

Common Misconceptions About Prenuptial Agreements

Prenups Are Only for the Rich

This is a myth that keeps many couples from protecting themselves. A prenup can be tailored to any financial situation, even if your combined net worth is modest. For example, if you have a combined wedding budget of $20,000 but one partner has $30,000 in student loans, a prenup can clarify financial expectations and responsibilities to avoid future conflict.

Prenups Are Unromantic or Suggest You Don’t Trust Your Partner

Far from it. A prenup is a conversation about mutual respect and transparency. It’s a way to set financial boundaries and expectations that can actually strengthen your relationship by reducing stress and uncertainty. Think of it as the financial equivalent of a couple’s counseling session.

Prenups Can’t Be Changed After Marriage

While prenups are agreed upon before marriage, many states allow postnuptial agreements—contracts created after the wedding. But getting a prenup done beforehand is usually easier and cheaper than trying to negotiate terms later when emotions and stakes may be higher.

How to Create a Prenuptial Agreement That Works

Start the Conversation Early

Discussing a prenup should happen well before the wedding planning frenzy begins. Waiting until weeks before the ceremony can create unnecessary stress and pressure. Approach the conversation with honesty about your financial history, current assets, debts, and expectations for the future.

Hire Separate Attorneys

For a prenup to hold up in court, both parties should have independent legal counsel. This ensures the agreement is fair and legally sound. Expect to pay anywhere from $1,000 to $5,000 per attorney depending on complexity.

Be Specific and Comprehensive

General statements won’t cut it. Your prenup should detail how you will handle property, debts, savings, retirement accounts, and even day-to-day spending decisions if you want. For example, you can include clauses about how you’ll split the $15,000 saved in joint savings or handle the $10,000 wedding expenses listed in your Wedding Budget Planner.

Don’t Forget to Update Your Agreement

Life changes—kids, new jobs, inheritance—can all affect your financial situation. Review and update your prenup every few years or after major life events to keep it relevant.

The Financial Reality of Weddings Without a Prenup

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. The average American couple spends around $33,900 on their wedding, according to The Knot’s 2023 Real Weddings Study. That’s a lot of money to go into a marriage without clear financial agreements in place. Combine that with the fact that the average divorce settlement can cost upwards of $15,000 in legal fees alone, and you start to see how a prenup can be a financial lifesaver.

Many couples dive headfirst into debt to finance a wedding and honeymoon, only to face financial stress afterward. According to a survey by SunTrust Bank, 35% of couples who go into debt for their wedding report financial stress within the first year of marriage. A prenup can help you both understand who’s responsible for what debts and protect your financial health.

If you’re serious about building a debt-free wedding and a financially stable marriage, reading solid personal finance books can help you get your money mindset in order. I recommend The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey for practical debt elimination strategies and I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi for a no-nonsense approach to managing your money without deprivation.

What to Do Now

Don’t let the wedding day’s romance cloud your financial judgment. Start the conversation about a prenuptial agreement today—ideally, several months before your wedding. Here’s a straightforward plan:

Schedule a calm, open talk with your partner about your finances, including assets, debts, and financial goals.
Research attorneys who specialize in family law and prenups in your state. Ask for clear quotes and timelines.
Use financial planning tools like the Wedding Budget Planner to get a clear picture of your current and projected finances.
Read up on financial literacy to empower yourself in these discussions. Grab a copy of The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey or I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.
Set a realistic timeline to draft, review, and finalize your prenup well before your wedding day.

Remember, a prenuptial agreement isn’t a breakup prediction—it’s a financial foundation. Building your marriage on transparency and fairness sets you up for a partnership that lasts, not just in love but in financial health.

Written by The Oracle Lover, an intuitive educator and oracle guide at theoraclelover.com who helps couples plan meaningful weddings without financial regret.